Jay Boyar

The most mortifying way for a rock star to mess up is for him to direct the dumb movies he stars in. This is the Prince Method. [09 Nov 1990]

City Slickers II is not merely one of the worst movies of the year. It's one of the worst movie sequels of all time - and, by the way, one of the least necessary. [10 June 1994, p.21]

This is ugly. [20 Sept 1993, p.D2]

Cutthroat Island isn't so much a movie as it is a burial at sea. As a longtime Geena Davis fan, I hope she won't go down with the ship. [22 Dec 1995, p.M10]

Connery doesn't have many scenes, and he does manage to keep his dignity while he is on the screen. That's more than I can say for a lot of the actors in this movie. [09 Sep 1994]

This souped-up exploitation flick is a little like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid - if Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid had been set in the near future (1996) and produced by morons. [23 Aug 1991, p.6]

Estevez set out to make a movie about garbage and ended up with a movie that actually is garbage. [27 Aug 1990, p.C1]

Medicine Man is bad medicine - very bad. A parable about mankind's folly, it's also a a prime example of it. [08 Feb 1992, p.E1]

The problem is that producer-turned-director Irwin Winkler (Night and the City, Guilty by Suspicion) simply has no idea what he's doing. I take that back. He knows what a producer ought to know: how to latch onto a hot topic and a hot star. Winkler also appears to have picked up enough from the directors he has worked with to give his film a certain second-hand slickness.

Even though the new film is an obvious rip-off of It's a Wonderful Life (by way of Back to the Future), and even though much of this material is familiar from Taking Care of Business, Mr. Destiny might have been watchable if director/co-writer James Orr (Tough Guys) had demonstrated any comic timing whatsoever. [12 Oct 1990, p.4]

Many years ago, Mel Brooks made up his mind about what was funny and he hasn't budged since. [30 July 1993, p.21]

Where The Last Picture Show was emotionally involving and dramatically episodic, Texasville is sprawling, badly paced and remote. [29 Oct 1990, p.C1]

With DiCaprio and Thewlis cast as 19th-century French poets Arthur Rimbaud and Paul Verlaine in Total Eclipse, you'd figure that the new film would almost have to be worth watching -if only for the acting. You would be mistaken. [01 Dec 1995, p.23]

The folks who made The 'burbs appear to be card-carrying members of the School of Non-Urban Humor. Basic to the philosophy of this school is the misapprehension that anything occurring outside city limits is intrinsically amusing.

Not only does the new film generally fail to skewer TV's follies, it isn't even as entertaining as television. And I'm not talking about really good television, like Seinfeld and Murphy Brown. I'm talking about the usual stuff, like Three's Company and Mork & Mindy. [17 Aug 1992, p.D2]

Let's just say that compared to Son-in-Law, Green Acres is Noel Coward.

Far-fetched as the premise is, I was willing to give the film the benefit of the doubt for the sake of the impressive cast. But as Flatliners rolled along, its pretentiousness became increasingly toxic.

This movie will finally kill off the series.

"Steel" isn't offensively exploitative, just awkward, goofy and terminally sluggish. But then, how fast-paced could a movie be whose central character clumps around in 75 pounds of body armor? [15 Aug 1997]

Mr. Magoo manages to be faithful to cartoon's format without capturing an iota of its charm. [26 Dec 1997, p.24]

The whole movie, in fact, is one big blooper.

Throughout the movie, there are occasional "joke" lines, most of which are pretty lame but at least they establish that this is all intended as comedy. For the most part, however, the humor depends upon the audience's finding the movie's repulsiveness funny.

The actors are so impressed by the seriousness of their dialogue that they respectfully wait a minute or so after each line is spoken before speaking the next one. Remove the pauses and the movie would run about 20 minutes. [12 Nov 1993, p.20]

Abetter title for Jaws The Revenge would be Jaws The Refund. A refund is what a lot of people who go to see this picture will demand. This Time It's Personal, the tag line for the new film's ad campaign, doesn't seem quite right either. This Time It's Terrible would have been more accurate.

This PG-rated romp is bland bananas compared to its R-rated predecessor. Besides, immediately following the liberating craziness of Animal House, another slob comedy didn't seem like such a bad idea. Now, after nearly a decade of slob comedies, the last thing we need is yet another, tamer one.

Movies like Wild Orchid give sex a bad name...The only thing to be said for this embarrassingly inept film is that, in its own schlocky way, it does intermittently manage to get a libidinous buzz going. This is not an especially tough thing for a movie with sex scenes to do, but it's something.