James Berardinelli

Contraband is the kind of thriller that offers just enough in the way of effective elements to assemble a two-minute trailer. When it comes to a 110-minute feature, however, the sketchiness of the plotting and the director's lack of sure-handedness sink the project.

The film provides ample opportunity to attack the MPAA's hypocrisy. Max Payne is a bloodbath, yet it manages a PG-13 rating by keeping the explicitness of the killings just a whisker shy of what would be necessary for an R.

This is yet another early 2025 movie where there’s just enough material in the film to assemble an intriguing three-minute trailer but not enough to make the other 120 minutes of more than passing interest.

Okay, Wanderlust has its moments. It's sporadically funny - funny enough to deliver a good laugh or two. The problem is, it doesn't do more than that, and the comedy is inconsistent.

Suspension of disbelief is an oh-so-tricky hurdle for a movie like this to overcome and The Book of Henry fails to achieve it.

The movie isn't so much bad as it is formulaic and uninspired. In some ways, that might almost be a worse sin.

The mismatched blending of Hirschbiegel's low-key horror and the Wachowski Brothers' anything-but-low-key action sequences results in a cinematic dud.

Evans' goal is to do for high school baseball what "Hoosiers" did for high school basketball, but to mention both titles in one sentence is almost an insult to a picture that many rank as the first or second all-time sports film.

A cheesy production with underdeveloped characters that feels more like a TV pilot than a self-contained motion picture.

Smith has infused this final chapter of the accidental trilogy with an odd tone. It’s a comedy that wants to be serious but has trouble finding the right pitch.

The film clearly wants to be more than just a run-of-the-mill horror-thriller but the allegorical aspects are half-baked and the attempts to mimic Kubrick’s "A Clockwork Orange" and "Eyes Wide Shut" feel more like campy satire than an homage.

Swing Kids has a multitude of problems, the most glaring of which is its loose treatment of history and the Nazis.

This time around, however, the magic has fizzled. Based solely on merit, Now You See Me 2 is a sequel that should never have been made.

It's easily the weakest entry into this ever-expanding category and is inferior to its subtitled source material. Quarantine implies "stay away" and that's not bad advice.

It would be disingenuous for me to claim that Ted 2 isn't funny. Although I was often bored by the plodding direction of the story, I laughed from time-to-time.

The movie ends with a bizarre and unsatisfying denouement. The epilogue, which is designed either to set up a sequel or lampoon "Halloween 2," plays like a sour last note. I suppose someone thought it was clever, but it doesn't work.

Aside from being a showcase for up-and-coming action star Jason Momoa, it offers little else of note.

Today, it feels like a parody and at times slips into “so bad it’s enjoyable” territory.

Transporter 3 is the most frustrating entry into a series that has never set the bar terribly high.

For the most part, its characterizations are so weak and ambivalent that the audience finds it difficult to develop much sympathy for anyone, regardless of whether they're white or Native American.

While the film does deliver a few solid laughs (though none that truly hit an 11), it ultimately falls flat, feeling less like a theatrical mockumentary and more like an overlong streaming special.

"Twister" is a rush. Dante's Peak, on the other hand, is a bore. Oh, it has its moments, but most of them are concentrated in the final forty-five minutes. The first hour, which is all typical disaster movie setup, is interminable.

There's only so far a movie can go on loud music, nicely-framed shots, testosterone, and adrenaline. Bad Boys takes the often-traveled road, and leads the audience to a dead end.

Whether the core flaw lies in the script or is the result of overly aggressive editing, the final result is offers only sporadic glimpses of the compelling thriller Broken City fails to evolve into.

Robert the Bruce is too long by at least a half-hour for the surprisingly slight tale it has to tell.

Crash has a couple of concepts which are, admittedly, fascinating and original, but not a whole lot more.

Aside from a powerful performance by Ron Rifkin (reprising his stage role) and a few quietly effective scenes, there's not much reason to subject yourself to a film this off-putting.

Dreamer is a kids' movie. It offers the simple black-and-whites of innocence, with no grays to add complexity.

For a mostly brainless movie, The Expendables 3 has a surprisingly dense plot, which is part of the problem. The 2-hour running length is unnecessarily long.

Jamie Foxx, compelled to take the role for personal reasons, turns in what could arguable be the best performance of a varied career. (Others might say that the distinction belongs to his work in Ray.)

Some players will enjoy the flashes of familiarity but others will find the production to be lacking. “Cringey” might be too harsh but this is unlikely to become the next video game-to-movie classic.

Lacks both a focus and an edge, making it an amorphous mess.

It’s a big-screen cartoon and, although it may work for its target audience – video game-consuming pre-teen boys – other viewers may find the production to be lacking in anything beyond a little visual razzle-dazzle.

Spider-Man and the first sequel were breezy adventures - easy and fun to sit through. Spider-Man 3 is a chore. The effective moments require a lot patience to uncover and some of what has to be shifted to get to them is not worth the effort. People love trilogies because it's said that good things come in threes, but this series would have looked better and felt more satisfying had the filmmakers stopped at two.

Your reaction to Double Team will probably depend largely on how you feel about concussive action films. While this one is better than most, it still falls considerably short of what I consider to be a "good" movie. One thing's for sure, though: like most flicks that boast more stuntmen than cast members, Double Team is unlikely to function as a Sominex. You may not enjoy it, but you won't fall asleep. And that's the best thing I can say about this loud, brash, ultimately pointless morsel of eye candy.

For a movie being touted as a sophisticated farce suitable for family viewing, North turns out to be surprisingly immature.

Warcraft provides the shell of a great fantasy adventure saga but never effectively goes beyond that. This is much more like the bad fantasy of the 1980s and 1990s than the better brand we have recently become accustomed to.

The product is akin to a mediocre '80s sex comedy (with minimal nudity) and "daring" is a descriptor only the most naïve and puritanical would employ.

At 2 1/2 hours, the movie is actually too short to adequately tell the full tale (The Ten Commandments is 70 minutes longer) but that doesn't prevent Scott from presenting multiple, seemingly endless scenes of people crossing deserts.

Captain America: Brave New World, the fourth title to co-opt the “Captain America” name and the first to star Anthony Mackie in the role, is another example of how badly unmoored the MCU has become in an era of unfamiliar heroes and stalled storylines.

Although there are occasions when individual set pieces are effective (such as a short bit involving a locked bathroom door), the film as a whole seems more like a series of missed opportunities than a “return to form” for director M. Night Shyamalan, who continues to trade on a name he made two decades ago.

The Producers is a movie based on a play based on a movie about a play. And that's probably the funniest thing about it.

Because of the potential of the idea and Cronenberg's reputation as a film maker, it's a real disappointment to watch eXistenZ fall apart the way it does.

The Last Witch Hunter feels like the first episode of a would-be series although, unlike some similar endeavors, it tells a stand-alone story.

Were it not for the high profile names of "Hanks" and "Kasdan", this would be a perfect candidate for a direct-to-video release.

For those who do not consider themselves to be among the Sex and the City faithful, this is a painful experience, perhaps the longest 148 minutes likely to be spent in a movie theater this year. Watching grass grow is more dramatically satisfying.

Lisa Frankenstein obviously wants to be different and it at least succeeds in that aim. However, as a story of female empowerment with grand guignol overtones, it has the great misfortune of coming out in too-close proximity to the vastly superior Poor Things.

My reaction is that I could learn a lot more about Winehouse by listening to her music than by watching this by-the-numbers sketch of her adult life.

Jumanji takes approximately one-hundred minutes for four people to play a board game. The result isn't much more fun or involving than watching a few friends play Monopoly.

The movie makes a variety of changes to Jeffrey’s story to make it more cinematic, but without the kind of narrative reworking needed to streamline the material, the result feels unfocused and shapeless.

Polanski abandons all attempts at subtlety. The resulting production ends up far too heavy-handed to be considered powerful drama.

The movie wallows in remorse. Not only is the main character paralyzed by it but the filmmakers seem to believe that every Caucasian member of the audience should face up to White Guilt for the way in which the Industrial World has encouraged unrest in Africa so resources could be strip-mined. How's that for an uplifting action movie premise?

One of the least effective comic book-to-movie stories to have come along in the past few years. Without a viable screenplay, there's nowhere for the character to go, and no way to avoid making her look silly.

The result, while not horrifically bad, is as mediocre a motion picture as you're likely to find in a multiplex this season. It's tough to hate the movie because it doesn't generate enough emotion for that kind of passion.

There’s enough suspense to keep an itchy trigger finger from changing the channel but viewers hoping for more won’t find it here.

This movie is sloppy and disjointed - an unsatisfying melodrama built upon a shaky foundation of contrivances, coincidences, and plot holes.

When the Game Stands Tall is one of those cliché-riddled feel good movies that, by trying too hard to be inspirational, ends up as cloying and overly sentimental.

To work, The Professor demands that the viewer believe in Richard and, from about the 15-minute point, I didn’t.

The final result is an unnecessarily-long thriller that contains far more talking than action. Pakula's direction is lackluster, showing little of the style that permeated his two most impressive pictures, "All the President's Men" and "Presumed Innocent".

In his latest diatribe, Moore throws everything at the viewer including the kitchen sink and hopes something – anything – will stick. Sadly, not much does.

This is made-for-TV material dressed up by Eddie Murphy's participation into a theatrical release.

Although Drag Me to Hell mostly fails as horror, it achieves sporadic success as a comedy.

Mr. Deeds is flat, except on those rare occasions when Sandler reverts to form or when John Turturro steals one of many scenes.

This film mistakes action for energy, ridiculous circumstances for comedy, and a mismatched male/female pairing for romance.

Like much of what transpires during the course of this production, it’s just crass.

There’s ample evidence that the producers (and writer/actor Leigh Whannell) are milking a familiar title for all it’s worth – of the four Insidious films, only one has been any good and, although The Last Key may not be the worst of them, it’s easily the most irrelevant and generic.

Amusing in pieces but, taken as a whole, it offers little, and the morality lesson is galling.

Despite a few effective “gotcha!” moments and Pegg’s performance, the movie is too artificial and undercooked to work. Logic and consistency are often overlooked qualities in today’s cinema but when they’re ignored to this degree, their absence is noticed.

Generic and forgettable.

At an exceedingly long 135 minutes, the film needs more than what might result from the explosion of a Crayola factory, and Speed Racer has nothing extra to offer - no heart, no excitement, no moments to cherish.

The movie spends perhaps too much time on the planning of the caper and too little time on its execution, which turns out to be on the underwhelming side. It’s also not terribly exciting.

"Entertainment" is in the eye of the beholder. For me, watching Fast & Furious 6 was more work than fun.

The November Man feels like just about every B-grade spy thriller that has ever been committed to the silver screen.

Fortress isn't terrible science fiction, but it's pretty bad. Hampered by a poorly- constructed storyline, the movie never gets on track. Instead of entering the rarefied atmosphere inhabited by such films as Aliens and the original Terminator, it falls in line with the likes of Freejack and Alien 3. Not the best company to be in, but it could be worse. Watch 1992's Split Second and you'll understand how bad things can get in this genre. After that experience, Fortress will look like high art.

There's enough in the film to assemble an intriguing two-minute trailer. Unfortunately, the movie has an additional 92 minutes to fill and that's not something it's able to do with much success. The problems with Oh, Hi! relate not to its conception but its execution.

While there's no denying that young actress Lindsay Lohan has spunk, she's not terribly effective in the dual role. Her performance is awkward and unsubtle -- she relies on an unconvincing British accent to cue us in to which girl she's playing at any given moment.

This is a dull, lifeless production that will find favor only with those with an insider's perspective or who feel compelled to praise the acclaimed director's every film, no matter how out-of-touch and pretentious it may be.

Ultimately, as things develop, this becomes less about revenge than it does about escaping a set-up. A successful production of this sort needs to constantly elevate the stakes as it builds suspense. Seeking Justice fails and that failure makes it a dubious movie-going choice best suited to the low expectations of a video release.

Whatever goodwill the movie builds up during its first 85 minutes is thrown away in the idiotic, anticlimactic final ten.

To the extent that Venom works, it’s as a comedy not an action/adventure superhero film.

The problem is, while the thriller aspects of the movie are serviceable, they aren't good enough to form the basis of anything more serious than a sit-com, and by spending as much time on them as Code Name: The Cleaner does, it makes the film at times seem drawn-out and tedious.

A plot that insults, betrays, and cheats every member of the audience. Stupidity to a degree can sometimes be forgiven. Stupidity to this degree can not and should not.

Probably best skipped - unless you have a penchant for shallow, "comfortable" foreign films that offer obvious messages and never attempt to challenge the viewer.

On the whole, Star Trek V is a highly forgettable motion picture, regardless of whether you're looking at it from the perspective of a Trek lover or a movie-goer.

Once it gets beyond a hard-to-swallow setup and into the meat of its story, Boxing Helena is surprisingly involving...The movie discloses its terms early, and expects the audience to buy into them, making no apologies for what it is or intends to be.

A lackluster melodrama with only a few inspired moments.

The script is a problem. It's mundane when it should be magical.

Although there are numerous problems with Fifty Shades Freed, the third and final installment of E.L. James’ trilogy, the fundamental one is also the most obvious: the lack of a compelling story.

After My Life's in Turnaround, one could reasonably expect something more than this -- a Generation X picture that takes angst to absurd levels -- from Eric Schaeffer. Unfortunately, what we are saddled with is a whiney, talky, stagnant movie that's more pretentious than romantic, and more dull than funny. If Lucy Fell trips early on, and keeps stumbling for most of its ninety-two minute running length.

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever is an overlong blockbuster in search of an editor. It’s a series of impressive action sequences without a compelling narrative to connect them. It’s a frustrating example of how financial success, not creative impetus, drives the existence of sequels, and it illustrates how unwieldy, contradictory, and overstuffed the MCU has become.

The film’s depiction of cataplexy is a reasonable representation considering how it’s being used (sufferers may understandably disagree). It’s too bad that so many of the screenplay’s other elements – like its treatment of basic human emotions – are badly mishandled.

After a promising beginning, this movie crashes and burns.

The Program has its high points, but there are too few of them, and I suspect that many of the film's "insider's touches" are a combination of fact and fiction. Principally, this a formula football movie. Those hoping to see a hard-hitting drama about life off the field should instead prepare to be inundated by a load of feeble, unimaginative material that's almost impossible to take seriously.

Ultimately, The Bride! has "cult classic" written all over it. It possesses very little mainstream appeal—it is simply too weird and outlandish for the average moviegoer—but there are enough flashes of brilliance to fascinate a niche audience in years to come.

The delicate air of romance that often makes this sort of film worthwhile is absent. French Kiss does it by the numbers, not from the heart.

here’s a dissonance between the film’s darker subjects and its seeming desire to offer something uplifting at the end. The coda feels dishonest and makes it as difficult to root for the film’s success as it does for the main character.

Sleeping Beauty is one of those self-consciously artsy motion picture that promises more than it delivers.

A shift in tone to something like "Kingsman" might have made this a more entertaining experience.

The movie feels like a vanity production, although it's difficult to determine whose ego is being stroked by this expensive adaptation.

The Long Day Closes is very much the visual equivalent of a verse or a poem: beautiful images, but no narrative.

Jesus Revolution takes a fascinating period of American history – the hippie movement and its associated fallout within the Christian community – and transforms it into a bland, TV movie-of-the-week experience.

A mess of conflicting tones and missed opportunities. The only one to emerge unscathed is Kate Hudson, who exhibits qualities she has rarely shown since her breakthrough role in "Almost Famous."

As for the movie itself, it’s not worth much ink. A kluge of bad science and worse science fiction clichés, it tries to be atmospheric and scary but succeeds only at being frustrating and tedious.

This is not a story that cries out to be remade every 15-20 years. And, while the special effects and acting are getting better, the story isn't.

It’s generic but not so bad that it becomes unwatchable.

Although the problem lies primarily in the difficulties associated with condensing an epic tale into a short-ish movie, the lack of elegance with which that is accomplished makes Artemis Fowl a failure for anyone hoping for the next great fantasy film.

This movie is built to be consumed, forgotten, and replaced — a product, not an experience.

Whatever small pleasures it may offer are wiped out by the frustrating sense of incompleteness that accompanies the arrival of the end credits.

As punchy and energetic as the first few moments are, the rest of the film quickly falls back into mediocrity.

For a movie intended to explore the conflicts and difficulties inherent in any kind of love (be it humans for each other or for their music), The Thing Called Love is largely unsuccessful. More than anything else, it ultimately appears to be little more than a predictable melodrama. Country fans will probably find in this motion picture an appropriate expression of their music. Everyone else is likely to view The Thing Called Love with about as much enthusiasm as they would reserve for the latest Randy Travis release.

This is a lame psychological thriller with an obvious story trajectory. It's a wannabe film noir with no atmosphere whatsoever.

Trolls World Tour is better suited to watching at home than in a theater. It’s a shadow of its predecessor, a regurgitation of some of the elements that made the first one popular but without the sense of spontaneous fun.

Despite being largely uninspired, the dialogue is peppered with enough profanity and salacious comments to keep the undiscriminating interested.

The biggest problem with Law Abiding Citizen, however, is that the plot is just plain dumb.

Isn't much better or worse than the average James Bond movie, except, of course, that it doesn't have the cars, the gadgets, the girls, or Bond himself.

Unfortunately, the lukewarm spy thriller offers a convoluted, meandering storyline that’s almost entirely devoid of tension and suspense. There’s less action than one might expect and the character development is so thin that even when a character is in danger, it’s hard to care.

Not without humor, but it lacks the explosive spontaneity of "The Hangover."

Even as a mindless diversion, it's weak.

In Fast X, there's plenty of noise and CGI (some of it on the dodgy, cheap-looking side) and things crashing and blowing up, but there's never a sense that it means anything.

Lawrence is often more irritating than funny, and it doesn't help that the direction is pedestrian and the screenplay dismal.

Just because a movie is ambitious and challenging doesn't mean it can't also be tedious and at times unbearable.

Watching Little Fockers is a depressing experience. Rarely does a comedy bring such an overpowering sense of sadness.

The chief pleasure of High Crimes (and it's a limited one) comes from watching Morgan Freeman, who can bring a sense of integrity to even the silliest thriller.

The real problem with Desperado, however, is that this sequel is without purpose and may be the most unnecessary follow-up since the second "Crocodile Dundee."

Older viewers may lose patience with the thinness of the narrative. Nostalgia might keep them watching but there’s only so far that can go and 90 minutes is too much to ask without the correspondingly intriguing story that Summering lacks.

Although it does an adequate job of illustrating the reasons why history remembers Curie, it feels more like a Victorian/Edwardian era soap opera than the chronicle of a scientific pioneer.

In terms of checking off the genre’s requisite boxes, You, Me & Tuscany does just enough to earn a passing grade for rom-com devotees who prioritize "vibes" over cinematic standards.

There is a reason why books are books and movies are movies, and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas makes a pretty good case that the two don't always mix.

Unfortunately, after the introductory sequences, Casino Royale begins a downhill slide. It gets progressively sillier and more incoherent until it's impossible to keep any of the plot elements straight.

What "Eternal Sunshine" did with magic and whimsy, The Science of Sleep accomplishes with confusion and pretentiousness.

There are occasional nice moments scattered throughout, but this is mostly a big, uncomfortable cartoon focused on the twisted attraction between two caricatures.

What Linklater does exceptionally well is open the door on an era seventeen years in the past. This is 1976, from the music and cars...to the people and their attitudes. You'd have to climb into a time machine to get a better view...However, this is light entertainment -- nothing groundbreaking or even especially noteworthy.

Taken as a whole, the approach doesn’t work and ultimately comes across as more off-putting than successful.

It has the sensibilities of a late-'80s/early-'90s forgettable big-screen sit com and probably won't find many interested viewers who aren't card-carrying AARP members.

Taken 3 is exactly what one might anticipate from an unnecessary sequel in a mediocre franchise.

Superficial, uninformative, and inert, this two hour snoozefest isn't even inflammatory enough to stoke a righteous anti-Bush brushfire. W. does for recent history what Oliver Stone's epic "Alexander" did for ancient times.

Narrative-wise, Justice League is forced to do too many things.

Martian Child wants to make us cry. It nearly made me gag. This is an exercise in shameless and inept emotional manipulation.

Murphy in particular deserves better, but at least she got a boyfriend and a paycheck out of the deal. No such benefits await those who sacrifice both cash and time to see this movie.

The Rocker is more disappointing than it is outright bad. One expects something a little fresher from Wilson.

Kids might think the snowman is cool, and some adults might be mildly amused by some of what transpires, but, on the whole, Jack Frost is far too superficial to be affecting, and its facile resolution to the loss of a parent borders on insulting. This is the kind of film that will leave most viewers cold.

A clumsy motion picture that strives so hard for the perfect romantic ending that it triggers a gag reflex along the way.

Taken as a whole, the second Shazam! is an overlong mess with an awful ending that feels like it was assembled as a result of reading focus group responses.

In a streaming series spread out over four or six hours, this might have offered compelling content (and certainly would have seemed less rushed) but, in its current format, it’s more frustrating than satisfying and the facile ending doesn’t hit the right spot.

The contrived storyline offers little opportunity for characters to grow and the meandering narrative trajectory and anticlimactic ending will have some viewers wondering why they bothered.

The best bits in this film fall short of being inspired, but they are outrageous.

The result is tepid humor and a less-than-compelling feel-good story of redemption and re-kindled romance.

Foster's film offers its fair share of laughs, although most come at the expense of "easy mark" characters. Dramatically, however, the movie is only a step up from a flop.

Even with ILM providing nearly-flawless special effects, Dragonheart lacks a much-needed spark. It's obvious and plodding, and only occasionally impressive.

Genre fans may perceive it as good enough to scratch an itch but no matter how well it eventually incorporates the various Pride & Prejudice tropes, it’s hard to see this as more than obligatory and unnecessary.

A by-the-numbers, slightly fictionalized chronicle of the rise and fall of pop singer Whitney Houston (Naomie Ackie), the film struggles to find a reason to exist beyond providing fans with an opportunity to listen to some of her most popular songs.

The end result is something that feels like it should have been much better than it is.

Beastly was made with tween girls in mind. It's the kind of love story a viewer can believe in when she is indiscriminating enough to ignore bad acting, bad writing, and mediocre filmmaking.

Like undercooked comfort food, the series has lost its taste and appeal. Despicable Me 4 exemplifies what happens when an animated franchise overstays its welcome.

This may be the worst major animated film Disney has released in the past 40 years and its lack of creative energy doesn’t augur well for the immediate future.

Even children, who will be enthralled by all the puppies, may have a hard time not fidgeting for protracted portions of the running time.

Few authors have been as badly victimized by Hollywood as King; this is just another title to add to the list.

Sadly, as apt as comparisons to "Underworld" might seem, I, Frankenstein can't even clear that very low bar.

The caper in Carter & June is clumsy and straightforward, lacking sophistication and intelligence. Sadly, that’s an apt description of the film as a whole, which is difficult to sit through and leaves no lasting impression beyond the desire to warn people to stay away.

There’s a tiny problem, though: Clementine is neither erotic nor a thriller.

The follow-up proves not only to be creatively bankrupt but a disappointment on all levels and thereby tarnishes the perception of its predecessor.

"Magic Mike" was self-contained, made with no expectation of a second chapter - and they prove unable to surmount it. Too many elements that made the first film an enjoyable experience are missing.

Offensive because it offers little more than unleavened stupidity in the place of the family-friendly action and comedy it promises.

At its best, Dumb and Dumber is like an Ernest movie with a scatological bent.

Things might have been okay if this film had gone someplace, anyplace, but it stalls early, then coasts through an hour of minimally-amusing material before screeching to an amazingly improbable stop.

Horror fans will be disgusted by the lack of gore. Romance fans will be disgusted by the presence of gore. One is tempted to applaud the filmmakers for trying something this daring, but the result isn't good enough to warrant any acclaim, however lukewarm it might be.

In The Beekeeper, as has been the case with pretty much anything Statham has done in the past half-decade, the actor is on hand to collect a paycheck in exchange for bringing a recognizable name to the proceedings.

An inferior product. It is not well written, well acted, or well directed.

I found the most extreme material to be so tasteless that it voided all comedy.

This is a bad movie with a good sense of humor.

A colossal disappointment. Not because it's superficial and shallow –- those characteristics pretty much go with the territory –- but because it's boring.

Although there are a number of problems with the production, the most glaring is the screenplay. The flaws of the final act are so flagrant that nothing short of a rewrite would have solved them.

Akin to watching a bad sit-com that never ends.

If I see another send-up of Sharon Stone's character in Basic Instinct, I think I'll walk out of the theater. It wasn't funny the first time, and, by now, it's gotten downright annoying. Who cares if she uncrossed her legs without any panties on? Let's move onto something new. Belaboring that issue is like watching this movie: pointless.

The Electric State has an epic look but that’s increasingly common in any movie with sci-fi elements. But, aside from the special effects, it feels unfinished, with the actors groping to inhabit barely-there characters. What does it say when Mr. Peanut has more personality than either of the main characters?

Perhaps the strangest thing about 2012 is that the bad parts of the film are among the most enjoyable, because they're so over-the-top ridiculous that it's impossible not to break out laughing.

For those looking for something positive, this is the only movie I can recall that features music from both ABBA ("Does Your Mother Know") and Handel ("Zadok the Priest"). Let's hear it for musical diversity!

Ironically for something titled The Watchers, this production lacks the basic quality of watchability.

National Treasure's storyline isn't compelling or coherent enough to warrant the term "plot."

The problem with Bones and All isn’t that it’s disgusting or shocking or transgressive; it’s that it’s a tedious slog.

There’s nothing imaginary about how bad a misfire this movie is even for the Blumhouse base.

This is one of those nearly unwatchable movies that becomes an endurance contest for any thinking adult.

Seagal fans will find that their hero is still in his usual form (his form, like his expression, hasn't wavered since he debuted in Above the Law). The action scenes are adequately directed (by Felix Enriquez Alcala, a TV director making the crossover to feature films), and there's a genuinely tense truck-and-car chase that is worth about 90 seconds of moderate excitement. The rest of the film is all by-the-book stuff, but that's what's expected whenever the name "Steven Seagal" tops the marquee.

A turd of T-Rex proportions, Land of the Lost makes one remember last summer's "Speed Racer" fondly.

Those who like stale, formula-driven comedies with sickeningly-sweet happy endings, not to mention unbelievably-contrived plots, will find Sister Act 2 an example of good entertainment.

It's the most disappointing thing to come from the brothers in years.

Season of the Witch teeters on the edge of slipping into the "so bad it's good" camp, but ultimately ends up being merely bad.

It doesn't take long for the The Signal's promising beginning to fade into a haze that leaves the viewer exhausted and irritated.

Humor is subjective, but this movie made me feel as if I had been subjected to something unpleasant.

Godsend is godawful.

One can give Ice Cube props for attitude, but not much more.

Kids will probably love this film but, to be frank, most children aren't that discriminating (apologies to the few who are). There's nothing in the film that's reprehensible (although some may find the concept of a one-hundred five minute commercial for a game offensive in itself), but I find it hard to believe that many adults accompanying their youngsters will be entertained. In general, about the best recommendation I can come up with regarding this movie is to turn on the Nintendo and play a game yourself. You'll have more fun, spend less money, and it will be over a whole lot faster.

Unappealing for children and adults alike, The King and I will likely bring families together in their mutual boredom.

The Brown Bunny is one long, self-indulgent bore topped off with a hard-core porn scene featuring Gallo and co-star Chloë Sevigny.

It stands alongside this year's other werewolf disaster, "Blood and Chocolate," in illustrating why the moon should set on the werewolf movie.

No amount of youthful charisma can alter the fact that, in the light of "Dangerous Liaisons", Cruel Intentions is a feeble and dissatisfying shadow.

Did You Hear about the Morgans? Yes and, to be perfectly frank, I wish I had been spared the experience.

By trying to satisfy every kind of viewer, it's possible that Sphere may end up pleasing no one.

This is film noir for the MTV generation: fast-paced, slick, flashy, gleefully mindless, and hollow to the core.

Men in Black International is more than just an afterthought; it’s an unfortunate afterthought. Popular interest has long since evaporated and providing a new paint coat (courtesy of stars Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson) can’t change that foundational fact.

Three adjectives spring to mind when describing Marie Antoinette: odd, irritating, and tedious.

A movie so inane that it fails to rise to the level of "good trash."

Who would have imagined that a movie about sex could be so boring? That's the bottom line when it comes to Fifty Shades of Grey.

The Matrix Resurrections is a waste of time and money. For fans of the series, it’s a betrayal that deserves to be ignored and forgotten as soon as possible.

Boring and uninspired, this movie gives ghost stories a bad name.

There's enough material in Self/less to fuel a mini-series. Instead of letting the story breathe, the film rushes along at breakneck speed, using contrivances and "shortcuts" in failed attempts at character development.

With the flat characters and lifeless performances, it's a wonder that anyone in the audience can stay awake all the way through this dull and dreary production.

The only thing of interest is the zany, over-the-top and against-type performance by Dennis Quaid, who shows what happens when “ruggedly handsome” gets an infusion of a diabolical Dirty Harry.

The Other Woman ignores dozens of potentially edgy possibilities to tell the most banal story imaginable - and to do it badly.

A huge disappointment -- the kind of motion picture that makes you actively angry at the filmmaker for subjecting you to it and stealing two hours of your life.

There's no fun to be had here and if an action movie doesn't make the grade as escapist entertainment, what's the point?

For all of its existential posturing, Being Human ends up being a rather shallow motion picture.

LaBeouf, who appeared to hit a low in "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," has sunk to greater levels of incompetence here.

Nearly every role is miscast, which is rather amazing. Christoph Waltz and Judi Dench (as an abbess) are perhaps the exceptions.

Unless you're a fan of Slater or Tomei, or hopelessly addicted to sappy, ineptly-handled love stories, there's no reason whatsoever to subject yourself to this movie.

Sluggish. Torpid. Boring. Those three words (and more) can describe The Yellow Handkerchief, a stultifying road trip movie whose inept screenplay is only partially counterbalanced by a trio of nice performances.

There’s only so far you can take a slasher series without doing something truly off-the-wall. Since the studio refused to attempt a radical refit, we’re left with this: a franchise-charring dumpster fire.

At times dull and plodding and at other times cartoonishly silly, Kin rarely works and, when it does, it’s often for the wrong reasons.

Beverly Hills Ninja is essentially a one-joke film.

This new horror/romance mashup provides just enough flavor of Jane Austen’s classic to tease without satisfying.

Those who don't understand what it means for an actor to "sleepwalk" through a performance need only watch Men in Black III; there's no shortage of examples.

The new Ivan Reitman/Arnold Schwarzenegger comedy is a one-joke affair, and it takes surprisingly little time for the potential humor in the situation to wear thin.

The storyline is so infantile that it will appeal to young kids.

Isn't worth the time, money, or effort. For Stephen King aficionados, it's just the latest cinematic nightmare.

Although Spiral pretends to mine the trope of one good cop investigating department corruption, that’s really just an excuse to present long, lovingly-filmed instances of sadism and torture.

The breath of fresh air, to the extent that one can be identified in the staleness of this recycled refuse, is John Cleese.

The only reason any male could have for seeing The Vow is the hope of getting laid afterwards. The only reason any female could have for seeing The Vow is if she views the plots of Harlequin romance novels as the height of modern storytelling.

As far as I'm concerned, it's official: Hollywood has lost the art of how to make horror films.

The lackluster acting and horrendous dialogue don't help.

Only for die-hard Cho fans. Everyone else will be offended, bored, or some combination of the two.

The Watch is a studio turd marinated in eau de skunk that stinks worse than week-old fish.

The movie is rarely funny with much of the comedy being too broad, too predictable, or both.

The entire affair is so badly bungled that there isn’t even a briefly satisfying moment of catharsis. The obvious next act for these Horsemen is to vanish—and never come back.

This is the kind of tearjerker that will cause audience members to cry, but only because they paid hard-earned money to see it.

There is no truth to the rumor that free frontal lobotomies will be performed at the entrance to all theaters showing Eagle Eye.

It is possible to make a movie in which nearly the entire running length is a car chase. An example of how to do this is "Duel." An example of how not to do it is Kidnap.

What's missing from Blended? Two key ingredients: it doesn't touch the heart and it doesn't tickle the funny bone (at least not often enough).

Cloying and at times annoying, Life as We Know It is egregiously manipulative, whoring itself out for a few unearned tears.

There are stretches when it becomes tedious and insufferably self important. There's even a late scene in which the movie turns preachy.

Two agonizing hours of lifeless, mind-numbing hogwash.

Yes, this film is worse than "Cliffhanger," Stallone's last venture into chaos.

Tedious and predictable, it employs obvious situations and clichés instead of genuine suspense-building elements.

A preposterous thriller where the only thing more disappointing than the ending is the 93 minutes it takes to get there.

Unfortunately, although there are a few nasty thorns here and there, The First Wives Club is a largely uninspired (and unfunny) comedy that collapses completely in the final fifteen minutes.

As a romance, a drama, or even a sports movie, The Longest Ride never reaches a satisfying destination.

Retribution seems especially disappointing, however, because of its untapped potential to be cheesily entertaining. The finished product is so bad that I can’t even recommend it for viewing on a streaming service – somewhere it should land very quickly.

"Mindless" applies, and Book of Secrets is more like a tame, endlessly repetitive amusement park ride than a motion picture.

Welcome to Mooseport's satirical edge is dull and pitted, the screenplay is overlong and uninteresting, the comedy is soft and shapeless, and the actors perform like they're on a sit com.

Newell has followed up a respectable adaptation of a Harry Potter novel with an ignominious translation of something more delicate and literate. It's hard to recommend this movie to anyone except perhaps the MST3K crew.

By any standards, Silk is a bad movie: pretentious, stillborn, devoid of emotion.

It’s artificial, annoying, and boring.

This remake replaces suspense with boredom and witty dialogue with lame lines any self-respecting actor should be embarrassed to utter.

Unfortunately for the poor viewer trapped into sitting through this 95 minute mess, the humor is both conventional and unfunny, the script never takes any chances, and the ending is a cop-out.

Can't decide whether it wants to be a black comedy, dumb farce, or sentimental sit-com.

Under Lester’s aegis, Superman III loses its identity, never emerging as a true superhero adventure or a full-blown parody.

Twisted is a D-grade thriller with an A-list cast. It's a disappointment from start to finish...But, in the final quarter-hour, it committed the unpardonable sin of insulting my intelligence.

A failure on pretty much every level, Hounddog would never have been known beyond Park City had it not been for the notoriety surrounding the rape scene.

An insult to anyone who has tragically and unexpectedly lost a loved-one in a similar manner.

Of course, the problem with Angels & Demons is that to get to the final 40 minutes, it's necessary to endure the first 90, and that would be defined as cruel and unusual punishment.

Despite a committed performance from lead actress Mackenzie Davis and a promising opening, the film quickly corkscrews into a death spiral of trite dialogue meant to obfuscate the lack of a coherent or meaningful narrative.

Demolition founders and its overt symbolism feels forced instead of organic. The production is uncomfortable and artificial, lacking internal logic and tonal consistency.

One could easily argue that, like many Ed Wood-type bad movies, The Faculty might be headed for the cult classic shelf in the video store. Unfortunately, it's not campy enough, and, worse, it seems to think it's being hip when it's just being dumb.

Although there are a few amusing instances when the film goes over-the-top with gore, those don’t save what’s ultimately a bad zombie apocalypse film with the undead replaced by robots.

Echelon Conspiracy is a more evocative title than a movie this stupid deserves.