James Berardinelli

On those rare occasions when RV stumbles across a comedic moment that is legitimately funny, it drains the humor out of it by milking it dry.

The result is an atrociously unfunny, unromantic, and unpleasant product.

Disney has struck once again, taking a passably entertaining cartoon and turning it into a motion picture so lifeless that it's almost unwatchable.

Perhaps the only way to approach Abduction that will not result in a 105-minute boredom-induced coma is to think of it as a comedy, preferably with a drinking game attached. There are laughs to be had, although none of them are intentional.

This is as witless as movies come -- an unamusing, moronic blend of horrible acting and inept screenwriting.

A godawful teen-magnet utterly devoid of entertainment value beyond the lure of its popular, photogenic cast and the dubious attraction of playing the “guess who gets it next” game. The little bit of cleverness that ends the film comes far too late to save this movie.

Doesn't have the decency to end when it should.

When the end credits roll, it’s hard to decide whether the most appropriate feeling should be disgust, despair, or despondency. This is one of 2019’s worst films.

In a way, it's probably unfair to blame director Tamra Davis exclusively for this debacle. After all, she's toiling in the shadow of a would-be multi-media superstar, making her essentially a hired gun.

Too much of Jason X plays it straight, and that means boredom. Murder and mayhem of this sort quickly becomes monotonous.

If ever a romantic comedy is going to fail at the box office, this is it. The movie isn't a guy's thing, a girl's thing, or anybody else's thing.

Howard the Duck is a bad movie. It doesn’t work as a comic book adaptation, a comedy, an action/adventure film, a fantasy/science fiction pastiche, or a combination of any of the above. The humor is juvenile. The action is cheesy and unexciting. The costume is embarrassing. The script feels like it was cobbled together by people with no knowledge of comic books but who were pretending expertise.

Defined by three characteristics. It is as stupid as a decapitated worm. It is as irritating as a mosquito buzzing around one's head. And it is as funny as "Schindler's List."

Isn't just bad, it's very bad.

Director William Friedkin has created a stylistic picture, but this is an example of style without substance.

This feels a lot like some of the recent, unwatchable Adam Sandler offerings: boorish, unfunny comedy colliding with saccharine, quasi-dramatic filler.

There's no evidence of craftsmanship or energy. Everything, from the plot to the execution, is plodding and obligatory.

Regardless of how low your expectations are regarding Fired Up!, it will still surprise you, and not in a good way.

Despite having the same title and a similar premise to a 1980 Jamie Lee Curtis flick (kids getting slaughtered on prom night), this is NOT a remake. In fact, it really doesn't have much of a plot. It's basically "The O.C." with a body count.

This is a painfully bad movie that thinks it’s trying to be Jackie Chan-meets-John Wick and flies so far wide of the target that it might have been shot by a blind man.

Jennifer's Body mixes, matches, and crosses three popular genres: horror, comedy, and teen angst. Unfortunately, it fails at all of them - and "fails" might be too kind a term.

More galling and tedious than funny.

They could have called this Paranormal Inactivity.

For acting to be this bad in movie not directed by Michael Bay or George Lucas, it has to be intentional.

This is a fairly standard-order bad taste movie, replete with all the characteristics of the genre: grotesque, over-the-top violence; copious blood and viscera; gratuitous, uncensored nudity; and borderline-pornographic sex.

I can think of bad slasher sequels from the ‘80s that were more engaging than this one.

Asian horror remakes are typically not screened for critics, and Shutter is no exception. The studios know what they have: watered-down, lifeless shells of motion pictures devoid of characters, drama, or anything remotely resembling horror.

This is as excruciating a movie as is likely to be experienced by anyone, anywhere. It isn't merely that the story is insulting, the characters are bland, the action is dull, and the CGI is everywhere - it's that all this goes on for nearly three hours. That's three hours of your life you'll never get back.

The ineptitude of the movie's drama is matched only by the failure of its humor.

I like Steve Buscemi. I really do, which is why it's such an disagreeable task to write a review that condemns his directorial debut as a waste of film. I'm not talking about a good idea gone awry, I'm referring to something that's rotten to the core.

Fox should be paying potential viewers not to walk out of this turkey. The plot has all the depth and originality of a video game without the fun of the interactivity.

After this disgrace, it's time to shut the hills' eyes for good.

Weekend at Bernie's 2 is made for a certain audience -- the indiscriminate movie-goer who will see almost anything that guarantees a few laughs. Those that belong to that group will find what they're looking for in this film. Almost all the humor is macabre and repetitive, but the film manages to be sporadically funny. Nevertheless, I find it hard to believe that many people will pay $6 or $7 to see a picture that has TV sitcom production values, writing, and acting.

This is not only the least funny movie in which McCarthy has appeared but the tamest and most toothless.

12 Rounds is the unholy stepchild of "Die Hard with a Vengeance" and "Speed," starring a man whose lack of range makes Steven Seagal seem nuanced by comparison.

It is a cinematic abomination -- a source of embarrassment for everyone involved.

There's hardly an area in which Hot Pursuit is not found lacking. The comedy is unfunny with joke after joke falling painfully flat.

The "characters" vary from slightly annoying to unbearable - this is a film in which a viewer can be forgiven for rooting for the old video game icons to annihilate humanity. God help us if the best savior we can muster is Sandler.

With some of the overlong running time snipped, Judgment Night might have been palatable. As it stands, however, the best judgment I can pass on this movie is an exceedingly harsh one.

If there's a blessing, it's that the sequel isn't appreciably worse than the original - but that's slim praise considering how bad the first one was.

Although Child’s Play is only 90 minutes long, it’s one of those movies where you check your watch so often you think it has stopped.

A horrifically bad romantic comedy that serves as a celebration of entitlement, consumerism, and shallow behavior.

The motion picture version of Bewitched is a travesty of monumental proportions that belongs in the "What the hell were they thinking?" category.

While the material forming the basis for The Crush can't make any claims of originality, there's certainly enough there to craft a decent film around. With a challenging story, a real script, and actors willing to take a few chances, The Crush could have been enjoyable. Essentially, all that would have been necessary for a success is a complete scrapping of the film that was actually produced. Even lovers of formula thrillers will find this picture hard to swallow.

It is legitimately unwatchable.

Every once in a while, a movie comes along that is so boring and pointless, that those faithful movie-goers who never walk out on a film have to find some alternative to watching the mind- numbing stupidity unfolding on the screen.

Even the rare individual who died laughing while watching the trailer will discover that only half of that phrase - the "dying" part - applies to the experience of enduring the film.

This movie only takes a few minutes to crash and burn, but more than an hour and a half to realize it.

Halloween II is an affront to Halloween and horror fans. It's the kind of cataclysmic misstep from which a franchise cannot recover. It has transformed Michael Myers from an iconic movie monster into a laughingstock.

So bad that it will annoy and/or bore those who have minimal standards and a high tolerance for sewage.

Just plain bad. Boring. Unwatchable.

This is bad. Not bad in a way that it might be fun to see when inebriated. Bad in a way from which only death provides immunity.

There are quite a few unintentionally funny moments, although the overall experience was too intensely painful for me to be able to advocate it as being "so bad, it's good."

A cinematic excursion so horrific that it's an insult to bad movies to call it a bad movie.

Straight viewing could result in brain damage.

Fair Game is howlingly bad - so awful, in fact, that it can actually be enjoyed on a certain level.

Like Nicolas Winding Refn with The Neon Demon, Tipping approaches it all with deadly seriousness, convinced he’s delivering a profound statement when in reality he’s just serving up an overwrought, futile mess.

Mr. Nanny isn't entertainment; it's an exercise in masochism.

I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. There. That just about sums it up.

Even Cowgirls is as close to an unwatchable film as there is available at this time in the theaters.

This movie is so atrocious I kept waiting for Nick Cage to show up.

The only thing as bad as bad comedy is bad action. Bad Boys II has plenty of both.

Mixed Nuts makes a point of stating that there's magic at Christmas. After seeing this movie, I'm a believer. After all, it's virtually impossible to come up with an alternate explanation of how something this awful could make it to theaters across the nation.

Not only is this an amateurish travesty combining fundamentalist Christian eschatology with disaster movie b.s., but it's plodding and tedious.

This film has no story, no characters, and no coherence.

What's wrong with this movie? A better question might be: What's right? Every attempt at comedy is not only obvious but delivered in such a forced manner that any hope of generating laughter dies before the joke has been told.

This is a vile and reprehensible motion picture.

With Rookie of the Year, Daniel Stern has struck out.

This is one of those movies where you stay rooted in your seat just to see how bad it can really get.

I have come to the conclusion that it's impossible for a Steven Segal movie to be anything better than mediocre, and this particular travesty may be his worst yet. The title Under Siege is supposed to represent the situation faced by Segal's character, but it's equally appropriate in describing the experience of the poor viewer who sits through this film.

This film is like a shiny, red apple that's rotten to the core -- despite slick direction and a glossy sheen, it reeks of decay. Showgirls isn't a good drama, a good thriller, or even good pornography.

For anyone who saw this movie while yet unaware of its horrifying potential for stealing money and time, you have my condolences. For those who stubbornly proceed while knowing the awful truth, you deserve what you get. Don't expect any sympathy from me if you're arrested while trying to burn the film or kill the projectionist.

Message to those who thought Gigli was the worst movie of 2003: check this one out. You'll change your mind damn fast.

If there is another challenger for worst entry of 2007, I don't want to see it.

Disgusting, offensive, and utterly without merit. And, on top of that, it's boring and pretentious.

At least there are some decent special effects to distract the viewer's attention from the story, right? Wrong. The visual effects aren't much better than those found in any typical video game system. They're repetitive and unimaginative.

It's amazing how boring an action movie can be when there's absolutely no point to all of the sound and fury.

In the final analysis, The Curse of Michael Myers is a horrific motion picture -- just not in the way the film makers intended.

There’s nothing worthwhile here; the landscape of wretched banality offers only wasted time and a sense of despair.

Zero-star movies are a rare and terrifying breed - films that warrant recommendation only as an alternative to physical distress.

I don't often use the words "godawful" and "abomination" to describe a movie, preferring to reserve such terminology for extreme instances when I feel duped and mortally offended. Case in point: Bachelorette.

Horror fans will be so bored by the first 90 minutes that they will have either walked out or fallen into a coma by the time the blood starts flowing.