Gary Goldstein

Select another critic »
For 1,126 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 53% higher than the average critic
  • 12% same as the average critic
  • 35% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 5.9 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Gary Goldstein's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 60
Highest review score: 100 Other People
Lowest review score: 0 The Remake
Score distribution:
1126 movie reviews
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    It’s a potentially warm and delicate story that required a scalpel, but saw the blunt end of a sledgehammer instead.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Beyond the Reach is a grueling, unsatisfying thriller that fails the logic test in spectacular ways.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Sadly, there's not an ounce of tension or a single decent scare to be found amid any of this convoluted mayhem.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    There's a late-breaking twist that might seem impressive if it didn't make all the previous mayhem feel so intensely pointless.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Brick Mansions, Paul Walker's penultimate film (prior to "Fast & Furious 7"), is a dumb and ugly action picture that works strictly as a reminder of the late actor's head-turning good looks and modest charisma.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Alexander Sokurov's Faust is a grueling side show of a film, a morbid, mightily uninvolving piece.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    A muddle of tired themes, bad behaviors and gruesome set pieces.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    This indulgent, overlong film takes a solid hour for its bigger themes of love, loss and guilt to settle in. By then, however, the movie has tried our patience to the point that many may not care.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    The story might have had some thematic heft if we knew or cared anything about the characters. But all we can glean about the disastrous Kostis is that he’s had hard times, while Anna is a total cipher.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    There’s barely a convincing — or amusing — situation or interaction, including the film’s climactic nuptials, which also turn fatally contrived.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    For all its gore and violence, stabs at tension and nightmarish intrigue, the film proves a slow-going, largely unsatisfying ride.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    First-time writer-director John Alan Simon simply doesn't have a strong enough grip on the movie's narrative, pacing or performances to surmount the pitfalls of this ambitious, budget-conscious effort.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    It mostly plays like a slapdash mockumentary crossed with a bad reality TV show.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    This tonal mishmash is a misfire of literally gross proportions.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    For all its loaded potential to evolve into a gripping look at life in a correctional facility plus an atypical spin on gay longing, the film squanders much of its running time with thin, repetitive scenes of young men behaving badly.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    It’s only October but your Thanksgiving turkey has arrived. It’s called She Came to Me, a mishmash of flimsy, fanciful and far-fetched notions dressed up as a screwball New York rom-com. Given its pedigreed cast and filmmaker, the results are doubly sad.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    A depressingly slick and empty house of cards that collapses under the weight of its muddled intentions.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Just when you think the film has gratefully escaped its most inevitable turn, it goes there, adding one final kernel of corn to this ho-hum horse tale.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Schmaltzy, overlong and a bit tedious.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    The uninvitingly titled Chlorine is a flat, undercooked suburban comedy. Or is it a drama? Or maybe a kind of satire? Regardless, it's short on style, substance or any clear raison d'être.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    This strained, often crass comedy traffics in broadness and inconsistency far more than anything smart, clever or dimensional. That might be more forgivable if the film was at least funny. It's not.
    • 12 Metascore
    • 10 Gary Goldstein
    Ironically, the only thing that makes much sense about the DIY effort Oconomowoc is its baffling title.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    A grating and witless would-be spoof of religion, male-bonding and, it seems, horror movies.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    This poky, clichéd, slackly told picture, directed by Emilio Aragón, would've felt dated a few decades ago; now it feels like a downright relic.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Too many roles remain underdeveloped — if developed at all. A lack of cohesion or camaraderie among the inmates compounds the film's impersonal vibe.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    The cast, including Jason Biggs as a dorky social studies teacher, does what it can with the toothless, painfully unfunny, thoroughly unconvincing material. How some movies get made is truly a mystery.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 10 Gary Goldstein
    Overall pacing is flaccid and too many scenes peter out when they should punch. But perhaps the movie’s biggest infraction is that there’s hardly a chuckle in it.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Despite a skillful use of color, lighting, framing and music, the movie’s artificiality might have played in a short film but becomes tedious and pretentious when stretched to 90 minutes.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Writer-director P.J. Hogan may have based Mental on an actual incident from his childhood, but the crazy quilt of a movie that resulted feels anything but real.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Good People goes from being simply pedestrian to outright preposterous without batting an eye.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Self-conscious, tonally uncertain and thematically vague, The Big Ask is a premise in search of a movie, one that co-directors Thomas Beatty and Rebecca Fishman never quite find.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    The movie's grandiose emotional quotient never feels any more real than its ham-fisted dialogue, dubious accents, strained "Kumbaya" moments or eclectic hairdos.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Convoluted doesn’t begin to describe the sci-fi drama Bliss, which starts off intriguingly enough but loses its way once it attempts to explain itself, before surprising us entirely in the end — and not in a particularly satisfying way. How this loopy film got made may prove its biggest mystery.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Casanova, Last Love, which looks at the famed 18th century philanderer’s infatuation with the supposed “one true love of his life,” is a dull and uninvolving portrait that, despite its sumptuous settings and costumes, never takes flight.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Far too broad and simplistic to enjoy as the offbeat soufflé it so desperately aims to be.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    It opts for too many broad, clunky or far-fetched beats to move the story and its requisite emotional needs forward, rather than weave a more organic, effectively lived-in and, yes, genuinely funny tale.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    The movie mostly plays so strained and corn pone that it undermines its sincere emotional core and good intentions.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Depressing and airless.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    Noah’s awkward, unconvincing script aside, Lewis is the true weak link here as he struggles to sell Max’s wobbly lines and emotions. This is a thoroughly painful experience.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Any potential enjoyment here is fatally undermined by the film's barely developed characters, self-conscious dialogue ("I will wax his tugboat!") and repetitive imagery.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Streak and Cooper are meagerly drawn characters, first-draft dialogue abounds, and the story proves more tedious and head-scratching as it goes.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    The grand Mirren is, truth be told, miscast and Pesci is misdirected as Grace and Charlie Bontempo.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Far too much of this plodding picture is spent on odd couple Chip and Alex's road trip transporting Mine That Bird to Kentucky. Forced atmospherics, clichéd action bits and some tone-deaf slapstick weigh things down as well.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Writer-director David Hayter revisits much-trod territory with wan results in Wolves, a werewolf tale that quickly loses its initial bite.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Although writer-director Scott Walker seems committed to not overly exploiting his lurid subject matter, the movie is just too dreary, disjointed and generically creepy to be persuasive.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    For much of the movie's running time, I wished I were watching Mel Brooks' classic take on Shelley's yarn, "Young Frankenstein." At least that one was intentionally funny.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Unfortunately, much of the acting (save by Bagatsing and Rachel Alejandro as Quezon’s vigilant wife, Aurora) is so spotty that it undermines the story’s potential tension and emotional heft.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    That the World War II-era drama Ithaca was directed by actress Meg Ryan may prove the most notable yet least successful thing about this oppressively sentimental journey.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 10 Gary Goldstein
    The movie is disturbingly reckless, needlessly brutal and deeply homophobic. Later attempts to wedge in a few nice moments between James and Kareem fall flat.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    The good news about After Words is that it offers Marcia Gay Harden a rare film lead. The bad news: Harden's role in this groan-worthy dramedy is so dreary and ill-conceived that even her formidable talents can't bring it to life.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    It’s Jasmine’s inept and unprofessional behavior during the film’s climactic trial that really sends the film into absurdist territory. It’s outdone only by a final sequence of events with a horror-show twist that might best be described as bonkers.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    The supernatural thriller The Forest begins with an intriguing premise and fun, ghost story-type potential but quickly devolves into convoluted hokum that produces more laughs than scares.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Call it a dark farce, human comedy or wartime satire. But however you slice it, the ill-conceived morality tale A Farewell to Fools is a bust.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    When it comes to finesse or originality the first-time filmmaker falls desperately short, relying on hoary clichés; dreadful, chicken-fried dialogue; and an often cracked moral compass.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    The film's first half is so annoyingly glib and faux-amusing, it sets a misguided tone that distances instead of engages.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    The underwhelming, would-be political satire Knife Fight plays more like a failed network TV pilot than the savvy feature it clearly set out to be. Think: Aaron Sorkin-lite, uh, really, really lite.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    This often risible head-scratcher never cracks the surface of its muddled ambitions, largely wasting its iconic settings on a series of motley interactions, Tinseltown trivia and self-conscious philosophizing.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Addicted doesn’t know whether it wants to be a modern-day bodice-ripper, a morality-tinged cautionary tale or a serious snapshot of sexual compulsion. Whatever the case, it fails on all fronts.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    Director John Suits seems more concerned with plying eyeballs with creepy atmospherics, showy visual effects and sexy interludes than with propulsive pacing or roiling tension.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    A sluggishly paced collection of go-nowhere sight gags, flat-footed set pieces and incoherent business chatter that offers few laughs and little real payoff.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    Tyler Perry's The Single Moms Club is a sitcom masquerading as a feature film... Too bad he didn't just spare us the awfulness of this flat and phony slices-of-life dramedy and go right to series, where half-hour bites might have helped mitigate the pain.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    A frantic, badly constructed, slightly offensive muddle that doesn't so much end as run out of things on a checklist.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    For all the attempted intrigue and mayhem, the film is dullsville, mired by a poky script, unremarkable action and, the hard-working Garcia aside, uninspired performances.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    [Martini's] filmmaking instincts, undercut by the script’s meandering, episodic structure, prove too self-indulgent and heavy-handed to tell the kind of emotionally involving tale about post-traumatic stress disorder among returning soldiers that he clearly had in mind.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Playing It Cool is a strained romantic comedy that seems to exist only to show how many talented, successful actors — first and foremost "Captain America" star Chris Evans — can be featured in one unworthy movie.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    The neo-noir crime comedy Kill Me Three Times works overtime to seem unique and clever. The result, however, is a derivative, gimmicky, at times dizzying puzzle that fails to engage.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Write When You Get Work doesn’t work. Not as a romance, not as a Robin Hood-tinged caper flick, not as a social commentary on racial inequity or classism, and not as a male-buddy picture — all elements director Stacy Cochran attempts to wedge into her often muddled, under-focused script.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Not to be glib, but sitting through the art-centric chamber piece The Time Being is truly like watching paint dry.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    [An] earnest but terribly ham-fisted drama.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Despite all the mayhem, Mortimer never whips up any real sense of dread or tension.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    [A] tedious cinematic exercise.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    It all feels forced and fabricated.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    Although this well-meaning film may appeal to its intended audience on a spiritual level, the result is a sluggish, clinical, largely dreary portrait that tends to mistake trauma for drama.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Amid the choppy action and whirl of sketchy characters lie muddled messages about revenge, greed, war, hubris and the endless ripple effects of 9/11.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    The Curse of Sleeping Beauty is a hard-working but dreary horror-thriller inspired by the classic Grimm’s fairy tale.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    There's such mechanical artifice at work that it's hard to do more than squirm and groan at the couple's ultimate travails.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    The historical saga can feel cursory, at times unconvincingly rendered given how many events and far-flung locales this overly ambitious film strains to cover on a seemingly limited budget.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Only during the movie's sweet epilogue do we get a sense of what Friended could have been had the filmmakers taken a smarter, gentler, more human approach.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    A laughably cheesy, empty-headed follow-up that makes the mediocre prior film shine in comparison.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    A movie of such snowballing stupidity that it's a wonder the actors could keep straight faces while shooting it (outtakes, please!).
    • 25 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    The Diabolical is a tepid horror-thriller that never manages to sell, much less clarify, its potentially ambitious concept.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    Director Steven C. Miller, working off a script by Max Adams and Umair Aleem, keeps things moving at a breakneck pace in an attempt, it seems, to help mask the film's convoluted plotting, one-note performances and bad dialogue.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Moms' Night Out is a hectic mess that does just the opposite of what it clearly set out to do: It makes motherhood seem like one of the most ill-conceived ideas since New Coke.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    It's not the worst idea for a revenge fantasy, but Jim's payback is so lacking in logic and reality, not to mention tension, that it proves more laughable than cathartic.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Perhaps most egregiously, director Mike Sears, working from Martin Dugard's awkwardly structured, subtext-free script, builds little excitement for the game of lacrosse, which comes off here as all sticks and legs and bad camera angles.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    That the film looks good matters little when director Peter A. Dowling’s script, based on the novel by Sharon Bolton, is filled with so many thinly drawn characters, blunt warning signs and telegraphed plot points.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    Save Mailer’s pushy “New Yawk” accent, the leads do what they can with their unconvincing characters and the rusty plot, but it’s a hopeless effort. Nice opening title sequence though.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Despite a few strong emotional beats, the crime drama American Heist proves as undistinguished as its generic title.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Sure, this frequently improvised spoof isn't intended to be taken seriously, but it's also not funny or incisive enough to counter the unappealing persona the actor-comedian has concocted here: an impulsive, clueless narcissist on a journey to reinvent himself as an action star.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 10 Gary Goldstein
    Avoid this one like, well, a yeast infection.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 10 Gary Goldstein
    This spectacularly dumb and unfunny film will likely bore even the staunchest fans of the “Hangover” movies, of which “Search” is a kind of distant, fatally impoverished cousin.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    The time-travel stoner comedy Ripped blows a potentially funny idea on slapdash filmmaking and lazy storytelling. If much of this overly broad eye-roller wasn’t made up on the fly, it sure looks that way.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    K-11 has the makings of a cult movie campfest but little of the authentic wit, edge or outré vision it would take to get there. What's left is a dreary jailhouse drama that somehow managed to imprison a few notable actors within its lurid walls.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 10 Gary Goldstein
    Alternately crass and treacly, overbearing and under-finessed, the film, penned by headhunter-turned-screenwriter Bill Dubuque and directed by Mark Williams, is on life support from get-go.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    There's plenty of action, some ping-ponging romance and even a bit of tension as Silver Circle spins its muddled tale. But it's all so overwhelmed by the rudimentary, computer-generated animation (characters don't so much walk as lurch and glide) that, well, the medium becomes the message.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 10 Gary Goldstein
    Writer-director Dito Montiel, adapting his novel, takes an ill-conceived premise and drives it into the ground with a painful, tone-deaf approach to both social satire and romantic comedy.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    Cavemen writer-director Herschel Faber has sketched such a thin and unfunny look at L.A. singles, it should mark the death knell for movies about child-men on the make.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 30 Gary Goldstein
    Contrived and predictable yet fairly tense.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 0 Gary Goldstein
    Behaving Badly is a dreadful sex comedy that gets worse and worse as its dopey story snowballs into relative incoherence.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 20 Gary Goldstein
    Momentum is a spectacularly generic action-thriller that, despite its sleekly shot and edited mayhem, lands with a giant thud.

Top Trailers