Cody Clark

As though fatalistically compelled, all three leads self-destruct: Li is as flat, colorless, and stiff as a panel of Sheetrock, Karyo plays his every syllable in overdrive, and Fonda seems trapped in the midst of a failed screen test for Pretty Woman II.

It's a gleefully unfettered gross-a-thon first --also second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth -- and a movie perhaps seventh.

Fuhgeddaboutit.

Pie 2 has neither undercurrent, and hence what was passably cute the first time seems much more puerile and shrill here.

An outrageously silly movie that makes me laugh.

The story is a pleasant one despite its pointed righteousness.

Once the action starts to kick in, Megiddo morphs, minute by minute and scene by scene, into a Mystery Science Theater smorgasbord.

Crowe's script is a thing of wonder, and he again proves himself to be an outstanding director of actors.

None, repeat, none of this is funny.

To paraphrase the movie's too-knowing tag line: It's not very funny. But when the lights go out -- it's still not very funny.

Dreadful demonic disaster.

Plenty of the tasteless gags don't fly, and for every celebrity cameo that works (a hilariously heavenly Reese Witherspoon), there are two or three that crash and burn.

An early scene inside a theater seems intended to wink at Sin's critics: "Disgusting! Cheap melodrama," a lady sniffs during intermission. It's a neatly reflexive acknowledgement of what we ourselves are watching, but even at that, our filmmaker is praising himself too extravagantly by half.

There's a lot of satisfaction in seeing two stars given this much time and space to examine a complex relationship.

Murphy's second outing as the M.D. who talks to the animals is surprisingly engaging.

What comes before and after the sound and fury of the bombing raid are reams of banal dialogue.

The watchability of Extreme Days can be mostly chalked up to Hannah's playful impulses -- and his cast's infectious camaraderie.

Given a decent script, they might make a fun summer movie. Given the script for Shanghai Noon, they've come up with a middling Old West oater that falls flat at least as often as it finds the funny bone.

Feels like it was pulled out of the freezer and hastily microwaved about 10 minutes before you arrived at the theater.

With the dependably compelling Freeman present, even its worst moments are not unwatchable.

The worst thing about The Animal -- is how frequently it becomes boring.

It has no subtlety, no shadings, and no suspense, and might as well not have a screenplay.

It's good enough, smart enough, and people will like it. It's also a high-concept cop-out, a convention-strangled genre movie that never zigs when your every instinct is screaming that it's about to zag.

As for genuine willies, well, chances are you've had more disturbing encounters with, say, a belligerent Shih Tzu.

Dracula 2000 is a stake in the heart.

If Parker had aimed more at capturing the author's unique voice, and worried less about getting the details right, his movie might have been extraordinary as well.

As its plot is entirely negligible, whether or not you enjoy One Night at McCool's probably depends on how funny you think the performances are.

Beautiful it ain't, but it is kind of cute.