Chris Kaltenbach

Tedious almost beyond endurance.

Look, I love dogs. But this film tried my patience almost beyond endurance.

Hands-down, the best James Brolin-in-an-Italian-accent movie ever.

Its pleasures are slight and fleeting, and so many movies have done what it does, and done it much better, that there's nothing to get even remotely excited about - much less to draw audiences into theaters.

A ham-fisted cautionary tale of religious fanaticism that would have been hooted out of even 19th-century theaters as melodrama of the most lurid kind.

Lame.

The only question is how many levels of meaning can be plumbed from the phrase "Let's party!"

Manages to pretty much ignore all the strengths of the earlier film while exacerbating all its faults.

There's way too much blarney in Evelyn.

A story about unmotivated characters trapped in an ill-conceived plot.

Malkovich acts as if he's doing Shakespeare, pontificating, enunciating and generally overreaching.

About as clunky as a movie gets. It lurches from scene to scene with no sense of narrative grace, gives its roster of prominent actors nothing to work with and screeches to a halt with all the grace of a sprinter whose shoelaces have been tied together.

Method Man and Redman just don't have the comic timing to pull off 90 minutes at front-and-center.

Torque isn't a movie, it's an 81-minute soda commercial.

So, here's the problem with The Butterfly Effect: It's silly.

What it is not is funny.

It's supposed to be funny watching these two characters and wondering who'll be the first to start acting her age, but it's really just pitiful, watching two talented actresses...given so little to work with.

Formulaic 'Chuck & Larry' is a crass, unfulfilling effort.

So what do we have here? Lots of cars going very fast.

Just plain bad.

If you do insist on seeing this film, don't arrive late: the clever, animated opening credits are a stitch, suggesting a sprightliness of touch and winsome wickedness of tone that's missing from the rest of the movie.

A mess.

At least The Honeymooners is not one of those remakes that looks bad compared to the original. It's just bad, period.

There's a funny movie struggling inside of Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star. Too bad it never gets out.

Formless, feckless, mindless, directionless and at times stunningly humorless.

There's little that's special about Underclassman, certainly nothing that Murphy and Eddie Griffin haven't done better in movies far funnier than this.

A mess, but it means well.

There's nothing about The Wedding Date that isn't forced or labored; there's only a stubborn determination to embrace every cliche and make sure the stars photograph well.