Bill Cosford

There is certainly nothing wrong with this; very young children, and the less discriminating among their elders, are likely to find The Care Bears Movie charming. [08 Apr 1985, p.C4]

This might well have been a more exciting movie if it had been made as a flat-out potboiler with a tough guy in Selleck's role. But Selleck's very weakness -- he is so relaxed and easy- going that we never quite believe he could be in trouble -- makes the movie hard to hate, too. [14 Dec 1984, p.E18]

The film rarely makes any sense, and the climactic confrontation is incomprehensible. [10 May 1991, p.G5]

Though My Tutor contains many scenes meant to provide comic relief, there is only one that works: Hired to deflower Bobby in the early going, the local drive-in slattern is caught flagrante delicto in a well-used backseat by her fiancee, the leader of a motorcycle gang. "He hates it when I do this," she says to Bobby, and one wants to love this movie...Otherwise, alas, My Tutor is witless. It seems to take forever for Bobby to learn to conjugate, and he's pretty slow at French, too. As for the double standard, note that simple role reversal -- older man deflowering teenage girl -- produces not a softcore sex comedy, but a crime drama. And that's a different genre altogether. [23 May 1983, p.6]

The key to the movie's success is that it was made by people who know and doubtless even enjoy rock in all its infinite, often tedious variety. This distinguishes Spinal Tap from the usual run of spoof, created at a distance by bemused outsiders (Johnny Carson in a mop-top wig, etc.). Reiner and company actually understand the media they are lampooning; the result is not only funny, but lethal. [27 Apr 1984, p.D1]

The whole point is excess, and O'Bannon's good at getting to that point. But the film is so clearly meant for giggles that it packs nowhere near the emotional punch of one of Romero's, which are truly dreadful. [19 Aug 1985, p.D5]

It is shameless, and I have the feeling that it is not always wholly honest with us or with its subjects. But it is so well made that we are compelled to forgive its sins. Only a cynic could deny its appeal. [22 Mar 1985, p.D10]

It's an A-list thriller directed by Barbet Schroeder (Reversal of Fortune, Barfly ) and graced with wonderful performances by Bridget Fonda and Jennifer Jason Leigh. [14 Aug 1992, p.G5]

It's a troubling movie, and there's something old-fashioned about its mechanics as drama, but Spottiswoode forces us to look at the humanity under duress behind all those back-of-the-book war stories. That in itself is enough. [22 Oct 1983, p.D7]

A View to a Kill, also like recent Bonds, is long. And though it is crammed with action -- car chase, boat chase, blimp chase, you lose track -- it begins, by the second hour, to seem quite long indeed. [24 May 1985, p.D5]

Planes, Trains and Automobiles is the movie equivalent of a tired stand-up comic's air-travel routine. It strikes some resonant chords indeed, but it never quite leaves the ground, either. And given the stars here, that's a real bungle. [25 Nov 1987, p.D1]

There is not a moment in Goodbye, Children that fails to ring true. It's a beautiful film. [05 Feb 1988, p.C8]

When The Guardian isn't goofy, it's as dull as plywood and just as thin. [01 May 1990, p.C4]

It's a handsome period piece and a decent character drama, and it has that Newman performance. But it never has enough bang for the buck, and that's too bad. [20 Oct 1989, p.G11]

Among the mysteries of Hollywood life is the terribleness of Jaws sequels; they are the very worst of a bad lot. Now comes No. 4 -- Jaws the Revenge -- and it is as wretched as it is ungrammatical. [17 July 1987, p.1D]

The only problem with the movie is that it really has little to say beyond the acknowledgement of young love. By contrast, Benjamin's Racing With the Moon, was so careful not to be clever -- in the process telling a good deal more about real feelings -- that The Sure Thing feels lightweight. It's nicely made and well-acted, and it is a bauble nonetheless. [1 Mar 1985, p.C11]

For everyone? Clearly not. Greenaway is an acquired taste. Once acquired, he's a pure original, not to be forgotten. X marks the spot. [6 Apr 1990, p.G5]

The most interesting aspect -- the only interesting aspect, really -- of Housesitter's creaky script is the concept of the psychopathic liar, as played by Hawn, who can invent whole life stories under pressure. It's the film's central conceit that the capacity to delude others with long and preposterous fabrications is the one sure sign of character. [12 June 1992, p.G7]

Carlito's Way reminds you a little of De Palma's remake of Scarface -- it has that jazzy, coke-frazzled bang and crash to it, the feeling of too many people chasing too many highs. But it's nowhere near as successful. It's not as shocking. It even feels . . . dated. [12 Nov 1993, p.G5]

The running character of a dim-bulb scientist of Indian or Pakistani extraction, who is prone to malapropisms, badly accented English and Carson-esque wink-and-giggle innuendo, might not seem offensive in a better film. Here it seems designed only for cheap laughs. The laughs come. They are cheap. [09 May 1986, p.D5]

The film just has no edge, that's all. Brooks lets it go maudlin in the first half-hour or so, and for the balance we're left wondering what ever happened to the guy who made Blazing Saddles. [29 July 1991, p.C1]

A decent ride. It has a boogeyman, exploding teen-agers and blood by the vat; it's part of the oeuvre. It is also, alas, no significant advance of the sub-genre some of us feel, however improbably, attached to. Teens-and- slash may be a form full ofhack work and dim bulbs, but so long as that form stays within reach of young and relatively unsullied directors, there is hope. [6 March 1985, p.C5]

This is a story about the banality of evil, and it succeeds all too well -- these people are ordinary, and that's what makes them scary. Guncrazy is, finally, a romance, but not before it's tough as nails and terribly knowing. You won't forget it soon. [13 Feb 1993, p.E5]

So. All this virtuosity, lots of thumps and crashes and even a few empty moments in the desert night. Signifying: Not so much. Not in the movies, which throw a glare even into the corners, which are empty here. Fool for Love has the look of a project that was a lot of work for director, writer and actors. It's not so much fun for the rest of us, either. [28 Feb 1986, p.D3]

It is a comic love note, a bouquet with a squirt-bulb, a joyful romance in which the message seems to be: Laugh all you want, pal, just don't go home alone. [24 Dec 1982, p.D2]

It has several amiable performances, including Lithgow's usual nice guy, Lainie Kazan's savagely nosy neighbor, Margaret Langrick's petulant teen and Don Ameche as a bullion- hearted Bigfoot expert. And like Harry, in its own ham-handed, goofy way the film means so well. What the heck. [5 June 1987, p.D1]

The movie runs short of material and loses its comic edge about halfway through, but it's still just jumpy enough to keep you interested -- though the rap-video parodies are almost indistinguishable from the real thing. [15 Mar 1993, p.C6]

The movie doesn't really earn its big, overwrought finale, and after it's over it appears quite full of holes. But it's a handsome curiosity. [31 Aug 1990, p.G5]

Inside Benny and Joon, a love story that celebrates dysfunction and the cutes, though not necessarily in that order, there's a character drama whispering to be let out, but that's no help. Long before you get around to liking this little movie, you'll hate it. And that's always a problem. [16 Apr 1993, p.G5]

Rocky III looks good -- a lean film with a bit of muscle. Stallone makes it eminently watchable. And that's probably more than we should have expected. [28 May 1982, p.C1]

It has the ring of small, unspectacular truths and a devotion to characters that is quite rare in contemporary film, and is genuinely the kind of movie "they" don't make anymore. This makes Stand by Me special. It does not make it a wonderful movie. [22 Aug 1986, p.D1]

You don't find many teen films about blues singers. You find hardly any about characters who don't smirk for 90 minutes before stumbling onto the meaning of life in the final passages. In Crossroads, it's the absences that are most refreshing. [14 March 1986, p.D1]

The film's highlight is that rarest of action sequences, the boat-car chase (happily for River Rescue, there's a good highway right by the water!). Striking Distance, which was directed by the aptly named Rowdy Herrington (Road House ), has few other surprises. [18 Sept 1993, p.G5]

Oscar, the new Stallone vehicle, is dreadful for an hour or so, then merely bad. By the time it's bearable, the picture is almost over. And by the time it's over, no regrets. [26 Apr 1991, p.G5]

Electric Dreams seems to take forever to establish its premise and its characters, who (computer excepted) are nonetheless rather one-dimensional. [23 Jul 1984, p.C6]

School Ties is powerful, but it cheats, too -- and the inspiring climax is telegraphed well in advance. What seems worse, though, is the movie's timidity on ground that has been well tested since A Gentleman's Agreement almost 50 years ago. [18 Sept 1992, p.G4]

The film is even slower and less engaging than is standard for its undistinguished genre. [22 Nov 1983, p.B5]

And so it goes, cleverly, amiably -- infidelity made fun. Wilder seems to have a firm hand on the controls, and the movie works best when he indulges his talent for physical comedy, which is considerable. It works less effectively when we have time to think about what is going on, and how many times we have seen it before, but the pace is quick enough that these times are few. [17 Aug 1984, p.10]

When it's working Blind Date is frenzied and very funny. It's a return to form for Blake Edwards, who has made a good many bad movies over the past 10 years. And in Willis and Basinger there is the kind of team that, back in the good old days, would have launched a series -- not sitcom/sitdram, but big-screen. [27 Mar 1987, p.D1]

The movie is bloody and gruesome and quite harmless, just the way they made them "in the good old days." [02 Aug 1985, p.C7]

Although we see many strange things happen (and some of them are seen through wondrous-looking special effects), we never have a clue as to what's really going on, and why. [24 June 1985, p.B6]

Interesting. Not worth the trouble, but interesting. [22 Apr 1988, p.C5]

Spike Lee is one of a handful of great filmmakers working in mainstream movies today, and he has a moral vision that is pure and simply uplifting. See his movie. See it often. [7 June 1991, p.G5]

My Girl, nominally a story about a gently wacky family but actually a no-holds-barred assault on the tear ducts, is one of those movies you want to hate -- but I don't think it's possible. [27 Nov 1991, p.D1]

Mulcahy has style to burn, but he may well have used the script to light it, for Highlander almost never makes any sense. [11 Mar 1986, p.B4]

The film works as contemporary fable, cautionary tale and perversely driven love story all at once. There's a gratifyingly wide streak of humanism running through it. And there's that "chemistry." Malkovich and MacDowell, bubble, bubble. Yes, indeed. [26 Apr 1991, p.G11]

It was pretty interesting a couple of years ago, too, when a variation of it was the premise for The Final Countdown. The big difference is that the earler film wasn't bad, and this one is. [03 Aug 1984, p.C9]

Parts of The Bodyguard are inadvertently hilarious, as in a romantic encounter involving Houston, Costner and a samurai sword (she unsheathes it so very, very carefully). Others just seem to go on, and on, and on -- at two hours and five minutes, this one is easily a half-hour too long. [25 Nov 1992, p.E4]

Though even Blake Edwards, the director behind the Panthers, could not make the connective material in this film work well, there is so much joy in the vintage Sellers that Trail of the Pink Panther rates as one of the funniest films of this year. Sellers' outtakes are funnier than most of the new material on film today. We shall not see the like of him again soon. [21 Dec 1982, p.C7]

Ironweed is the love story of two bums, the swan song of a haunted man, a character study of abiding humanity. It's a sad movie. Beautiful, too. [12 Feb 1988, p.C1]

This is, in other words, an adventure film for the 6-to-12 set, a movie for the void left by Disney's forays into the elusive teen market. All but the most easily frightened children should enjoy it; all but the most easily diverted adults are likely to find it tedious. [01 Aug 1983, p.C6]

The film isn't perfect. Seidelman is still pretty much brand-new at this, and there are times when the movie seems about to slip through her fingers, run off into the streets and flow farther, irretrievably, downtown. And the ending has the patness of a studio contrivance; one guesses that had Seidelman been in complete control, something more ambiguous might have resulted. Still, what fun: Good, and good for you, too. Hollywood reaches out and gives someone with talent a chance to make something genuine and offbeat. It's a great system. [01 Apr 1985, p.C4]

The Journey of Natty Gann is one of those dead earnest, richly satisfying "family adventures" with which the Disney name has long been associated, despite the fact that the studio has made very few successful ones. It's the kind of film we think Disney is supposed to make, regardless of whether the studio actually does. [25 Oct 1985, p.C1]

The whole four hours or so of the two films is as handsome a package as France has produced in years. [30 Dec 1987, p.D6]

Though Polyester is mild for John Waters, it remains a film not for everyone. But it is a satire of an energy and breadth rarely seen on today's screens. It is recommended, but only for the strong. [03 Dec 1982, p.D1]

It's a routine, who's-the-slasher melodrama, and for all its visual allure -- Stone and Baldwin bump and grind, in living color and in third-generation, off-monitor black-and-white -- it drags, and drags. [22 May 1993, p.E1]

The movie is sweet and reflects Disney's usual care, but there's nothing in it to match that title. [23 June 1989, p.H11]

There are not as many jokes as a 95-minute movie needs, however, and most of the good one-liners are doled out to the supporting players rather than to Dangerfield, who goes ahead and rolls his eyes anyway. He's a good sport about it, but his fans are going to wish instead for one of those "concert" movies, such as the ones that showcase Richard Pryor. And those without an abiding affection for Dangerfield are going to wonder what the rest of us have been laughing about. [23 Aug 1983, p.C5]

Unlikely as it seems, considering the source, Hope and Glory may be John Boorman's most affecting film. It is surely his most entertaining. [27 Nov 1987, p.D1]

The Last Boy Scout is a perfect example of what's wrong with Hollywood. The problem is the script, which is awful. [13 Dec 1991, p.G5]

Yes, it's all pretty silly. But for those who can stand the annoyance of the cardboard glasses, there are worse ways to kill a hot afternoon. [23 July 1983, p.D6]

That Burton darkness, gentle and sweet though it may be (he's David Lynch through a Disney looking-glass), was said to be the one element that kept Batman Returns from becoming the most popular movie of all time. Maybe so. But this time, it's simply perfect. [22 Oct 1993, p.G4]

Platoon lacks the sweep, the heroic (and anti-heroic) vision of Apocalypse Now, and it lacks that film's signal strength, which was its evocation of the visceral appeal, the sheer romance of war, at least to those not fighting it. Some of Coppola's images in Apocalypse Now were among the most beautiful in contemporary film. Platoon is merely terrifying. [16 Jan 1987, p.6]

Barkin's performance is deranged and wonderful. You won't see anything else like it at the movies for a long, long time -- at least until Edwards returns to the gender-swapping theme. When he does, perhaps he'll make it funnier. [10 May 1991, p.G5]

A Soldier's Story insists that attention must be paid, and in so doing re-creates a dark and still fascinating picture of the American landscape -- geographical, social, spiritual. [05 Oct 1984, p.C1]

Heartburn doesn't have enough good inside semi-fiction to be of much interest to the Washington cognoscenti, and it's not enough of a movie to stay in the memory of the outside-the-beltway crowd more than an hour or two. What it is is a chance to see our two most celebrated actors at work for a while between films. [25 July 1986, p.D1]

The idea, apparently, was to combine elements of E.T., Gremlins and run-of-the-mill slasher films, while keeping the whole thing palatable for pre-teens. Only Steven Spielberg has been able to make this combination work, and even he has had trouble with it; director Stephen Herek, who also worked on the Critters script, is the wrong Steve. [30 Apr 1986, p.C7]

But much of what happens in Husbands and Wives isn't just stock Woody. It's stock Hollywood, too. [18 Sept 1992, p.G5]

You will not necessarily know any more about life after the film is done, but you'll have killed a couple of hours painlessly, and you will have laughed a lot. [18 Apr 1984, p.C6]

Jarmusch is interesting, and funny, even when he's falling flat. And the real unifying agent here, Tom Waits' determinedly bouncy sound track, is full of perverse whimsy; it works a kind of magic on the film. It's a good thing. Night on Earth much needs the magic. [08 May 1992, p.G5]

Oshima, the director who was once celebrated for the elaborately scandalous eroticism of In the Realm of the Senses, is here merely impenetrable -- though whatever it is that Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence is about, Oshima does seem to mean it. [30 Sep 1983, p.D2]

The Road Warrior shows what happens when filmmakers learn something on their way to the sequel. Though the action here follows a predictable course (it's high-tech Shane), the milieu is fascinating, the story sophisticated where Mad Max was crude. [25 May 1982, p.D5]

I wish it ended better, but Mortal Thoughts is easily the most interesting movie of the year to date. And it's a throwback to that time at the movies when a single murder was a big deal. Run, don't walk. [19 Apr 1991, p.G5]

The several ideas whizzing about in this story are frankly fascinating, and though there are times when the film seems sadly out of date, the film has a real pull to it. [16 Mar 1990, p.G5]

Hail, Spartacus. You're no Kane, you're not even Lawrence. You're a movie dinosaur, lumbering and overpraised. But it's good to have you back. [8 May 1991, p.D1]

The story is thick with implausibilities and, like the source, almost unbelievably turgid in the telling. [20 Nov 1987, p.B5]

The Undiscovered Country looks and feels more like a movie and less like a TV-family reunion. Still, the allegory is labored to say the least. [6 Dec. 1991, p.G5]

As for comic rhythm, director Nadia Tass has no clue. [10 Aug 1991, p.E1]

Johnny Dangerously was directed by Amy Heckerling, who made Fast Times at Ridgemont High and, like most other female directors, has been waiting for a chance to make a lot of money with a movie, waiting for her breakthrough film. This ought to be it: It's a splendid sophomoric comedy, and these days, in the time of Hollywood's perpetual freshmen, that's saying something. [21 Dec 1984, p.D1]

The ghoulies in question are at least momentarily diverting, which is more than can be said for the rest of their movie. [26 May 1985, p.C6]

Like all bad thrillers, and some very good ones, The Hand That Rocks the Cradle doesn't always make a whole lot of sense and seems to depend overmuch on coincidence, happenstance and shameless contrivance. But that doesn't matter. The Hand That Rocks the Cradle will scare the wits out of you anyway. Pick it apart later, when you're home safe and sound. You won't have the chance while the show's on. [10 Jan 1992, p.G5]

Miami Blues is a neat little trick -- funny, tough, scary. This hurts to say, but it wouldn't be so bad to see a Hoke Moseley sequel. [20 Apr 1990, p.G5]

Ricochet would be utterly unremarkable (in the small universe of violent and atmospheric cop dramas that make no sense) were it not for the cast, which includes some A players. [07 Oct 1991, p.C1]

Ballard made The Black Stallion and Never Cry Wolf, and he's good with spectacle;: His second-unit crew this time found ways to shoot the controlled violence of big sails in good wind that take the breath away. But the rest of Wind is just out there flapping. What a mess. [14 Sep 1992, p.C5]

Truly, a modern fable in period dress...But boring. No other word for it. Director Franc Roddam (The Lords of Discipline, Quadrophenia) is a plodder. He can make dense films, ornate films, but he brings no special life to his projects. Here, he cannot escape the sumptuous confines his art directors have created or the too-rich images of cinematographer Stephen Burum. When the movie needs to race, it lurches instead, like the monster staggering castleward at the head of a torchlight parade.

There is something weirdly appealing about Commando and its self-deprecating celebration of violent excess. [16 Oct 1985, p.D5]

Someone involved with Prizzi's Honor, the new film from John Huston and starring Jack Nicholson and Kathleen Turner, doubtless thinks it's a fine satire, a comedy so black it will have us all squirming. There's no other explanation for the long stretches of time the movie spends on "idle," all that potential power, going nowhere. [14 June 1985, p.D1]

The premise is marvelous, the music more than adequate (assuming you're a metal fan), the performances appropriately dumb. And it's seasonally funny. [28 Oct 1986, p.D5]

The performances -- even those by Rosanna Arquette and Jeff Bridges, as Sarah and Scudder -- are simply trashy; they're throwaway stuff. [30 Apr 1986, p.C7]

Kline is OK. Mastrantonio isn't, really -- she plays Priscilla on the edge of a groundless hysteria. Kevin Spacey, fresh from a tightly controlled performance in Glengarry Glen Ross, loses it here. But the real villain is the ramshackle story. It's just a mess. [17 Oct 1992, p.4]

Richard Mulligan attempts to provide comic relief for the comedy, in the role of a grizzled archangel, but it's a thankless task. The most interesting element of the film is its premise. [26 July 1985, p.D8]

It's fluffy stuff, lovingly made and instantly forgettable. [20 May 1988, p.5]

Night and the City is the most disappointing big- expectations movie of 1992. It's hard to overstate the magnitude of its failures. There is almost nothing right about it. [23 Oct 1992, p.G5]

The Cotton Club never seems to go anywhere, so that we are caught up short when it seems to have gotten somewhere. Then it's over, finished in Hines' blaze of glory, and a few minutes later one wonders what one has seen. It's big and colorful and terribly thin. [14 Dec 1984, p.E18]

No one creates fantasy like George Lucas, and there's nothing quite like a big, cornball fantasy to start the summer. This one is the biggest yet, and it is hard to imagine anyone not being entertained by it. It is, as we used to say around the galaxy a long time ago, a tour de force. [25 May 1983, p.D1]

It's not a wonderful family, and the lives thus illuminated aren't sweet at all. But the movie is both things. In his sheer affinity for the human, Leigh approaches the great Jean Renoir. What fun to watch. [21 Feb. 1992, p.5]

Hot Dog...The Movie! involves soft-core quickies and schoolyard one-liners and is not much fun at all. [14 Jan 1984, p.C7]

Moments of life intrude, particularly with the periodic appearance of Eli Wallach as a superannuated hitman, a truly bizarre performance (he's got a sawed-off shotgun but his eyes are so bad it doesn't matter). And there are times when the sheer vitality of the two stars -- particularly Lancaster, who has not lost a thing -- promises to lift the movie. But it's too flimsy, and we're left with two stars in search of a story. For a while, it's fun watching them hunt. Then it's just a chore. [3 Oct 1986, p.D2]