"Free Ride" is crude, mean-spirited, and not nearly as fresh and innovative as the producers think it is.

Although the first episode runs for a bloated 90 minutes, it provides only scant hints of a main plot thread.... So once again, I'm confronted with an AHS season that appears to be more gross than engrossing. Alas, I may not be able to check out of the Hotel Cortez, but at least I can change the channel.

As hard as Tucci tries -- and he tries very hard -- he can't make Dr. Doug Hanson into Dr. Gregory House. It's not his fault; the writers simply don't give him the dialogue and depth that Hugh Laurie gets to play with on "House.''

Much of Tarzan feels more like a marketing strategy than a show, and it seems to have a few flaws that "Smallville" doesn't. Chief among them is the incoherent plotline, which, in the pilot at least, does little to explain the motivations of Pileggi's character. [4 Oct 2003, p.D01]

It doesn't work, largely because there's not enough wit from creator and star Louis C.K. to make the vulgarity anything more than an exercise in blue.

While you have to give them credit for trying something at least a little different, the creators and cast try way too hard to pull laughs out of the situation and the show comes off as forced and unbelievable.

Baum's work almost collapses under the weight of a misguided re-interpretation.

Anything remotely resembling complexity and nuance has been sacrificed to cramming six decades of history into two hours of airtime, minus commercials.

Gone are the wit, the entertaining twists on sci-fi films and actors (outside of Gross) who knew they were doing a sendup of the genre. And the special effects are so cheesy that it looks as if the series cost about $1.95 to make...It's hard to believe that Sci Fi canceled the fine "Farscape" to put this series on the air. [28 Mar 2003, p.TV]

Jillian... was so obnoxious and smugly hostile in the opener that I found myself practically rooting for one of the big-bellied contestants to squash her like a common household bug. [26 Oct 2004]

There are some very funny lines and moments... Unfortunately, the good stuff isn't worth slogging through the rest of this sitcom.

A mishmash that wastes an interesting cast... and the few intriguing ideas it has.

Though tonight's two-hour premiere episode is fat with special effects and looks far richer than most TV shows, the concept is already red with rust. ... [The] sense of humor is about as subtle as a whoopee cushion. [18 Mar 1994]

We're left with a shrill sitcom that's hard not to hate.

The opener is riddled with juvenile humor consisting of jokes pegged to corpses, crotches and child molestation. It's almost enough to trigger a case of mad cow disease.

While it's always good to see Burnett, something has gone seriously awry with this new version.

A joyless and certainly unromantic mess.

The series doesn't come close to capturing the edgy tone and visual style of the print original.

Somewhere, things went very wrong, and the comedy turns out to be a flat, unappealing mess.

All this talent can't make the premise - a police detective talks to murder victims - work.

It tries to be edgy but misses by a mile.

There isn't a single new comedy idea in any of the upcoming episodes, and in some scenes, you practically can yell out the punch line before the characters get to it.

The series' first episode was lifeless, with perhaps three good lines in the entire half hour. Almost all of the film's charm seems to have drained away during the transition to TV. Perhaps later episodes will be better, but I wouldn't hold out much hope. [26 Feb 2003]

While it's not totally painful, it's so hopelessly incoherent that you'll probably get a headache or two if you actually stick with it for the full three days and six hours.

[It] comes up more than a bit short.

Both tonight's opening episode and next week's installment are predictable, loaded with cliched dialogue and lacking in the tension you want in this kind of show.

An incoherent, almost unwatchable mess.

I guess this is supposed to be another "feel-good" reality show, but it comes off more like an exercise in wretched excess.